Books are my world, and I especially look forward to meeting the many great and wonderful guys that they bring me. But when I run across a fictional guy that’s just an out and out douche, I want to rant to the world all about him in all his douchebaggery glory. The old jerks as well as the new all have one thing in common. I CAN’T STAND them, and wish they’d all go jump off a fictional cliff and die a horrible fictional death! Really in no particular order because you just can’t rate ratchedness.
5. Edward Cullen from the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer:
He’s a throwback jerk as his story has been out and concluded for some time. Really I never understood the swooning over this guy. He was more hormonal than Bella and all of his ‘sister’s’ put together and made up of so much bitchassness I couldn’t stand it. The back and forth mood swings in the beginning of Twilight, the obsessing and stalking of Bella, and the controlling issues were all such big turn offs. If this guy existed, in real life, I think 85% of sane women would have taken out a restraining order and run the other way. The part that continues to appall me to this day, was the extremes he went to to keep Bella away from her BEST FRIEND! Breaking her truck…WTF is that about? And buying his sister some expensive ride so she would willingly hold Bella hostage!? Hellooooo…what part of that is sexy? Doesn’t make me want to consider giving him the come hither look at all! And then when he was willing to share her ass in BD so she could have babies…now what now? Somebody please tell me what part of the game is that?
4. Jag Barque from Possession by Elana Johnson:
This one just makes me shake my head. From the first introduction we have of Jag, I honestly thought I would like this dude, but he soon became a HUGE disappointment. First the fact that he’s in love with Vi in a matter of a couple days troubles me to no end. And then he proceeds to treat this girl that he’s so in love with like shit. He gets super angry at the stupidest things and then hauls off and leaves the girl in the wilderness by herself after promising not to. And then when she finds him again, acts as if nothing at all happened, gives a lame apology, and then turns right around and DOES IT ALL OVER AGAIN! Not to mention he was prone to burst into tears at any given moment..it was just weird ya’ll, and he consistently lies and withholds information. Jag is a tried and true jackass, and I wished for his demise throughout this book.
Oh Theon…how I longed to bitch slap you and choke your ass out for the despicable ish you pulled! How could you!? First and foremost, the way you treat women is deplorable, and I spent a lot of time wishing one of those women you used and abused would cut your man parts off and shove them down your throat. You do not have the strength nor the capabilities to lead, and your move against the Starks…PURE TREACHERY! Your own family doesn’t respect you, and I sure as hell don’t. I hope and pray you get what’s coming to you.
2. Galen from Of Poseidon by Anna Banks:
Not too much to say about him except he’s kind of a controlling asshole. Stalkerish and condescending to his love interest. Again I missed the memo about when this became sexy, but I’m just not falling for these types. The fact that he followed this girl on her date and gave the date ‘stalker eyes’ concerns me. Not to mention he is always talking to her as if she’s a child. No bueno!
1. Christian Grey from the Fifty Shades series by E.L. James:
I pretty much hate him for all the same reasons I hate Edward. Controlling, obsessive stalker with a mommy syndrome. Can we say ICK to the fact that all his subs looked like his mother! Gets off on causing pain to women…wouldn’t that be a sexual sadist? I’mma say no thank you. Not to mention he’s condescending, talks down to Anna, and is really kind of demeaning to women in general. He has more issues than Time magazine, and frankly I don’t find it realistic for a girl whose never been in a relationship to want to take them on. Just don’t buy it. The fact that he wanted so much from Anna without really wanting to give anything up himself infuriated me. He is a major douche to the nth degree, so why he’s making the rounds as a heartthrob has me completely and utterly baffled. Just NO!
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